I’ve had this blog post planned for the last 3 months. I remembered writing a little ‘bucket list’ of things I wanted to achieve by the time I turned 30 on the eve of my 29th Birthday. 29 Things In My 29th Year I called it. I should’ve known I’d set myself up for a fall. A fall of epic proportions. However, my head was in a different place altogether last May.
If I’m honest, I’ve been putting off looking at the bucket list post I’d written last Summer.
My head’s been a bit all over the place lately. I’ve found myself stuck in an A-hole yet again (the ‘affectionate’ name for my anxiety). I’ve been beating myself up about a few things over the last couple of weeks, so having a look at this list of things I’d hoped to achieve was the last thing I wanted to have a peruse of.
I feel a little bit lost. I feel like I’m having an identity crisis again. I’m attributing this to the fact I’m turning 30 and as many of you will know, this leaves me feeling anxious in itself.
Do you ever get the feeling like you’re in quicksand? Metaphorically of course as that really would be a horrendous fate.
What I mean by this, is I feel like I’m not getting anywhere quickly. My head spins with ideas but I feel like I lack the motivation to realise my goals and to make my ideas become a reality.
I know I need to give myself a metaphorical slap to the face and just sort myself out already. But I’m lacking the energy to even do that.
I’m sure there’s a long line of you reading this who would indeed like to queue up to give me a little slap to the chops.
Anyway, enough of this self-indulgent feeling sorry for myself crap. The only person who can help myself is indeed myself. Perhaps I’ll write a list of things I want to do…..oh, yeah, I did that already.
So, let’s see how I got on with the 29 things I wanted to do in my 29th year. I am writing my responses as I read the original post. I have not given this a second glance since writing it back in July 2015.
I predict this to be both eye opening and depressing in equal doses.
**** ORIGINAL POST ****
June’s comments italics
Today’s comments are in red.
I turned 29 in May and on the eve of my Birthday I wrote a list (you know how I love a list) of all the things I want to do or achieve in my 29th year. So, whilst I was walking home from work yesterday (making sure I didn’t purchase a packet of Uncle Ben’s rice in McColls – remember that, oh how we laughed) I thought I would publish my list with a little update on how I’m getting on some 2 months into my challenge.
- Start writing a blog (tick, here it is!) I’m proud of my blog, don’t get me wrong. However, I feel like I’ve hit a bit of a brick wall with it lately. Call it writers block perhaps.
- Get down to 125lbs (judging by what the scales told me on Sunday, I’m a good 10 pounds away from this goal, still, only another 10 months to go until I reach the big 3 0) This is one of the goals I’m so annoyed with. Oh to be only 10lbs away from that goal weight. Let me tell you now, I’m considerably heavier than I was last Summer as the scales informed me yesterday morning!
- Walk a minimum of 10,000 steps a day (sometimes I can do 20,000+ then others it’s a miracle if I’ve broken the 3000 mark, so this is nowhere near consistent enough!) Varying levels of success with this one.
- Improve my diet (I ate a bowl of Cornflakes for my tea last night and half a lardy cake so I think that tells you how that one is going!) See point number 2.
- Drink more water (definitely not going well, I’ve certainly been drinking more wine) Yeah, that didn’t happen. More wine. Less H20.
- Learn to drive (not even booked a lesson yet – this is one challenge I am absolutely terrified of) I’m SO annoyed with myself with this one. I STILL haven’t even booked a lesson yet.
- Do a course (in my defence, I’ve had a really busy couple of months with work, moving house and writing this blog so I’ve not managed this one yet) Didn’t happen.
- Have colonic irrigation (I’ve enquired about it but not booked yet, I know it’s disgusting but I’m really intrigued and apparently you can lose a lot of weight so that may help me with number 2 above – so to speak) Didn’t happen. But will hopefully be happening this month.
- Do sit ups every day (in my defence I had to have an operation in May so was unable to start these until recently but I did manage to do 50 the other day but have been too lazy/scared to attempt ever since) Don’t make me laugh.
- Learn to cook (did you read my rice/phone blog yesterday? Think it might be an idea if I delay this one slightly!) I think I might have baked a cake at some point.
- Don’t spend time with fake/negative people (This is a work in progress I would say) Not always possible, but I have definitely made progress with this one and it’s now a life mantra of mine.
- Do something totally & utterly random & fun (Suggestions welcome for this one, I’m always racking my brains. Although, my life is quite random, that is due to situations and not something I’ve necessarily done) I’ve had A LOT of fun at the age of 29. It’s been a great age.
- Keep in touch with people I love more (I’m rubbish at keeping in touch, but this is one I really want to work on – I’m sorry to anyone who I forget to text/reply to – in my mind I have but in reality it’s still sat there unread in my inbox; this really annoys Wes!) Ummmm….this hasn’t happened. Soz about that.
- Have at least 2 holidays (done already with London & Dublin but hoping to have our first abroad family holiday in October) I’ve been really lucky with breaks away at the age of 29. So I can tick this bad boy off for sure.
- Save £50 a month minimum (nope – not even close) Save money? How about spend it like it’s going out of fashion. I have a bulging wardrobe to prove this.
- Pay off half of debt by 30 (nope – how about I’ve increased it? Oooops damn you H&M) See number 15. I’m back in debt again and this is playing on my mind heavily at present.
- Watch a film every week (really hard with moving house & having a toddler who refuses to go to bed but I did watch The Notebook the other day – SO BLOODY SAD, I actually hyperventilated) Never happened. Who has the time to watch a film a week?
- Get no more or less than 8 hours a sleep a night (I might as well piss in the bloody wind with this one, I could only dream of getting 6 hours sleep a night most of the time) Piss and wind.
- Sell more on eBay (not listed one thing in the last 2 months but I did do a Baby & Toddler Table Top Sale and sold a fair whack) I’m banned from eBay.
- Keep a diary (Too frightened it might end up in the wrong hands so I use my blog as a diary instead) Not a chance. Not a hope in hell.
- Have wisdom tooth out (that little blighter has been causing me problems for years but I’m just so scared to let the Dentist in my mouth) It’s still there. It might not be paining me as much as last year but it’s still very much there.
- Book smear test (I’ve been due one for about 8 months and keep forgetting to book so I’m going to call the Dr’s today and get that over and done with) I’m happy to say I had this done last year and all was fine.
- Do something new, not matter how small, every day (I’m not aware that I’ve been doing something new every day but from now on I’m going to make a concerted effort to try!) I find new chocolate bars to like on a seemingly daily basis. Does that count?
- Get teeth whitened (I’m about to try oil pulling or the latest craze is called, as that is meant to be really good for whitening teeth, I’m planning on posting a blog about it soon so stay tuned!) Oil pulling does work. Time to get back on that.
- Do not stress, what will be will be (an absolute cliché this one but after doing nothing but stressing for a whole year to the point I made myself ill, I can now say I’m in a much better place when it comes to my mental/emotional well being) I definitely do not stress as much as I used to, well that was until a couple of weeks ago when all I seem to do is stress.
- Read more books (reality TV stars’ ‘autobiographies’ do not apply – educational or fiction only – so far, not so good.) I’ve been trying to finish a book on the Kray twins for the last 9 months.
- Be on TV (I applied for Don’t Tell The Bride and managed to get to the interview stage, only for my mum to tell me that if we were successful she was having no part in it. Suggestions welcome, I’ve applied for so many TV programmes over the years, I have to be on screen soon surely??!!) Dammit. We were called to go on Pointless at the end of April but I had to say no as we’re busy so that’s now going to happen when I’m 30.
- Start running (Yep, not started this one. I used to run quite a bit a few years ago then gave up before becoming pregnant – I’m determined to get those trainers on and start pounding the streets!) I haven’t even ran for the bus. Was I under the influence when I wrote this?
- Do something kind to help someone once a week (I wouldn’t say once a week but I’ve certainly gone out of my way frequently to help someone in need this year) Once a week? Bit liberal that.
So there you have it, all the things I want to do or achieve before I turn 30. I’ve got less than 10 months to achieve this so I better get cracking. Less typing more doing!
What would be on your to do list?
OK, so that wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I’d already prepared myself for the cooking one and the driving one as those disappointments have been burning a hole in my brain for weeks.
I feel most ashamed about the debt one however. No excuses for that. Don’t worry though, I’ve received my punishment already.
Anyway, here’s to being 30 and making absolutely zero resolutions – aside from being happy. Because really isn’t that all that matters in the end?