It doesn’t feel like it was 4 months ago since I wrote my last review of a series of TOWIE but indeed it is, 4 months and a couple of days in fact.
I always feel like I’m not given enough time to get my head around the end of a series. This time around I only had a couple of days and that was less than ample time to come to terms with its departure.
It’s certainly been a dramatic series, and having a read through my last TOWIE recap from way back in April (when I was still in my twenties mind!) shows there was a couple of predictions I was right about.
First up – Pegan (I still prefer Meat as a moniker), I predicted there would be drama between this pairing and it came in droves. Whilst they didn’t fall out with each other (they lllooovvveeee one another don’t you know!), they fell out with pretty much every single person in Brentwood and surrounding areas. Mainly due to Megan’s supposed dalliance with Jake Hall. Did she sleep with him or didn’t she? She says no (many times) and Jake apparently says yes.
I have to admit that during the finale, Megan didn’t appear to put up much of a defence when confronted with the revelation that Jake had confessed his sins to ex-girlfriend Chloe Lewis. If that were me, I’d be screaming and shouting; not just stood there, dressed up as a ‘sexy lion’ with a blasé look upon my face. But hey that’s just me.
I wonder if I could fashion this look at V Festival.
Talking of screaming and shouting, we did see a lot of Megan’s vein this series. Who could forget the potential scene of the series when she told Lydia to take her fringe and fuck off? What a line. I can’t actually recall whether we saw the fringe again now I come to think of it.
Was it just me who felt TOWIE had become a bit Mean Girls esque with Lydia and Chloe showcasing their bitchy sides? Of course, we the viewers weren’t privy to the alleged fall out at the table whilst in Majorca when apparently Megan was shouting in front of a toddler. We just have to take Lydia’s word for it.
Lydia certainly found her voice this series. Giving Arg the dressing down of his life beachside. I didn’t know where to look, it all became a bit awkward and even though I see Lydia’s point of view, especially if we’re led to believe she walked home to him off his tits on class A’s, it still felt a bit much. The tension was palpable and even I felt for him when he went stumbling around a random forest apparently looking for Pokemon.
Imagine the tanlines Lydia is risking in that costume!
I can’t help but wonder whether Billie Faiers had read my previous review you know. In this post I’d written how I couldn’t understand why she was still on TOWIE. 5 and a half years she’s been a cast member and I can’t actually remember the last time she had a storyline. It was definitely time for her to bid farewell, there’s only so many times you can stand there, look pretty and nod your head in agreement. I did feel sorry for her though. When previous cast members such as Mark Wright, Gemma Collins (like a bad penny she just keeps turning up) and her very own sister left, there was much more of a fanfare. Poor old Billie didn’t even get a farewell scene. Even in her final episode it was very much a damp squib.
For me, this series will mainly be referred to as Case Of The Ex, with Mya’s old school anthem being the soundtrack (google it if you’re under the age of 24).
Allow me to set the scene.
So, we have Dan Edgar and Kate who announced in Majorca at the start of the series that their relationship was no more. Of course, it’s never as easy as that when it comes to TOWIE. Whereas when I finish a relationship I never have to endure the displeasure of seeing their faces again, the same can’t be said for TOWIE’s former couples.
We watched as Dan and Kate picked apart their doomed relationship over the course of the series and I’m sure I don’t speak just for myself when I say I sat there aghast at his upset over Kate apparently bunking up with one of Jon Clarke’s mates.
** NEWSFLASH ** You’ve split up Dan. Your relationship is no more. Finito. Kate can sleep with who she wants and may I remind you of Jess Wright? Short term memories this TOWIE lot. Good job I’m here to remind them eh?
Jon Clarke showed just what a feisty man he can be mind didn’t he? I felt sorry for the furniture that bore the brunt of his anger and frustration when Kate confronted him in a pub. He’s obviously taken a leaf out of the Geordie Shore how-to-have-an-argument book. This is TOWIE, we call each other mugs and the like, we don’t punch walls and throw chairs.
The Only Way Is Essex has changed so much in recent years. While I think it’s better than it was last year and the year before, I do often wonder if it’s lost its vajazzle. I miss the light heartedness and I can’t bear the incessant product placement. Yes, we know TOWIE are sponsored by Select but please don’t lead us to believe that the TOWIE elite shop in that store cus I just ain’t buying it, after all, they all have their own clothing lines don’t they?
I’m guessing the next time we’re treated to an episode of TOWIE will be around Christmas time, when they all make friends and stand around a log fire singing songs, so that’ll be something to look forward to.
Predictions for the next series:
- Danielle and Lockie will be involved in yet another are they together or aren’t they together saga. Viewers will give up giving a shit and one of them announces they’re leaving the show.
- Meat (I’m not giving up on that nickname) will be hit by more rumours. This time infidelity and we’ll see angry Pete once again (I don’t mind that though because it makes me fancy him all the more)
- Lydia and Arg will give it yet another go. She was thawing in this series’ finale and nobody wants to be single at Christmas.
- Chloe Lewis will finally stop mentioning Jake Hall’s name.
- And lastly Tommy and Georgia will get engaged, I just hope he ups his game a bit, her bit of bling does not belong in the window of Barnard’s Jewellers let me tell you.
PS. Lewis finally turned up. After I sent out that MIA post, he’s been found. He’s currently holed up in the Celebrity Big Brother house dashing drinks in people’s faces and getting his willy out for all and sundry.
Don’t worry, I haven’t edited this photo to remove his bits. This is how the photo was when I found it. I wouldn’t do that to you.