Just when I thought I couldn’t love Adele any more than I already do, this week I read excerpts of an interview she has recently taken part in for Vanity Fair magazine and fell in love with her all over again.
I love Adele for her honesty, her down to earth attitude and how she stays so incredibly true to herself, despite her monumental fame and fortune. Fame and fortune she so richly deserves considering the sheer amount of talent she’s in possession of. I was lucky to see Adele live earlier this year and she did not disappoint. The woman is probably the best female vocalist of her generation.
When it comes to Adele’s quotes I certainly have my favourites.
The focus on my appearance has really surprised me. I’ve always been a size 14 to 16, I don’t care about clothes, I’d rather spend my money on cigarettes and booze.
You tell ‘em love.
I was about to meet Beyonce, and I had a full-blown anxiety attack. Then she popped in looking gorgeous, and said, ‘You’re amazing! When I listen to you I feel like I’m listening to God.’
I love how she fangirls like the rest of us.
When Twitter came out I was drunk tweeting and nearly put my foot in it quite a few times. [Now] my management post my tweets for me.
We all do it don’t we? Me more than most, I expect.
I love seeing Lady Gaga’s boobs and bum. I love seeing Katy Perry’s boobs and bum. Love it. But that’s not what my music is about. I don’t make music for eyes, I make music for ears.
And I as well as millions of others love you for it.
The fact that I’m not shy or embarrassed to be falling apart. Everyone falls apart, I think. A lot of people try to be brave and not shed a tear.
Thing is, I think she’s incredibly brave.
Adele’s bravery is something I want to write about today as she dominates the headlines regarding her December Vanity Fair feature.
Choosing the interview to open up about her struggle with Post Natal Depression, I believe Adele has now managed to resonate with even more women than she did previously. Her words are raw, they’re real and they spoke to me, more so than anything I’ve ever read regarding a woman’s experience of Post Natal Depression.
“My knowledge of postpartum—or post-natal, as we call it in England—is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job. But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life… Eventually I just said, I’m going to give myself an afternoon a week, just to do whatever the f*ck I want without my baby. A friend of mine said, ‘Really? Don’t you feel bad?’ I said, I do, but not as bad as I’d feel if I didn’t do it.”
And that paragraph right there is what resonated with me beyond belief. Every single word of it.
I remember, whilst in the grips of PND; feeling like the worst human being in the world, completely inadequate and unable to be a ‘proper mum’, void of happiness and contentment, exhausted from feeling like this. I remember feeling overwhelmed with regret, mourning my old life, the simplicity of how my life used to be. I remember being terrified something awful would happen to my new baby, my brain besieged by intrusive, horrendous thoughts. Wishing I could flick a switch and all would be right with my world again.
Adele is SO spot on when she says she eventually realised she had to give herself an afternoon a week to do whatever she wanted to do, without her baby, knowing that she would feel worse if she didn’t, despite the guilt.
I hate the word guilt. I hate feeling guilty and feeling guilty for sometimes not feeling guilty. It’s such a wasted emotion. Remembering that not only are you Mum, but you’re also a human being with wants, needs, dreams, hobbies, interests and everything else that makes you you is SO important to wellbeing, mental health and just everyday life.
Adele has admitted that her son will be her only child. Again, something that echoes with me as I know my son will be my only child too. My history with Post Natal Depression and Anxiety playing a part. I’ve made my peace with that and know it’s the right decision for me and my family, like I’m sure Adele is resounding with her reasons for only having the one child herself.
With Adele being so candid about her Post Natal Depression, we’re once again reminded that mental illness, be it post-natal depression, anxiety, stress, whatever; doesn’t discriminate. You can have millions upon millions of pounds in the bank, talent in abundance, a happy relationship; you could literally have it all, but that doesn’t mean you won’t wake up one day wishing you’d stayed asleep.
I applaud Adele for opening up about PND. It means we’re talking about an illness that will always need more awareness. New Mum’s need to know they’re not alone with their feelings. With Post Natal Depression being discussed in the media again it highlights not only how common the illness is but also how devastating it can often be too. Taking part in this interview for Vanity Fair magazine might have just been another press call for Adele but I think she’s done more for us women than she’ll ever know.
I’ll sign off with another honest quote from Adele’s interview with Vanity Fair.
Adele revealed she “was completely off my face” writing her sophomore album (21), drinking two bottles of wine and chain-smoking on a regular basis. “A drunk tongue is an honest one,” she said.
I sincerely hope a drunk tongue isn’t an honest tongue with some of the shit I’ve spouted over the years.