If ever there was one of those ‘national’ days made with me in mind then today would be it.
Thursday 9th February 2017 is National Pizza Day. I’m not quite sure of the significance of this, I’m guessing it means we all use today to celebrate our love for pizza. I expect the big chains; Dominos, Pizza Hut et al will be all competing to offer the best deals so pizza lovers can take full advantage. I like to think it also means we can indulge in pizza without feeling guilty or putting any weight on but I think my hopes are slightly in vain here.
I make no secret of my extreme pizza obsession. Between the ages of 22 and 24 I used to order pizza most nights. Pizza Hut was usually my go to takeaway of choice, once 7pm would roll around I imagined the staff to all have bets on what time I’d ring through with my very specific order. A large (always large, never go smaller), Italian crust Margherita with extra cheese. Emphasis on the extra just in case they didn’t quite hear.
No wonder I ended up in debt and the largest I’ve ever been. It was like an addiction.
These days a pizza is a treat. Thus far I’ve only had 2 in 2017. Both within the first week of January. I blame the New Year blues for making me turn to my first love, sometimes only pizza will suffice.
So, with that in mind. And in keeping with the original theme of my blog, I thought I’d compile a list of the 10 reasons I adore pizza so much.
I love cheese. I love all types of cheese, well, aside from cottage cheese, I just don’t see the point if I’m honest. I also don’t really like cheese with fruits, like cranberry, that shit bends my mind a bit. Cheese is a staple part of my diet and if you’re gonna melt it for me then I’ll probably be your new BFF. Just watching that cheese stretch out when pulling a pizza slice away from its pizza home is a wonderful, wonderful sight.
Just look at it. I defy you to find a better food picture.
9.It’s perfect hangover food
Picture this; you’ve had a heavy night. You can’t remember if you stumbled through the door at 1am or 5am. Could be later. You drank ALL of the wine. The last 3 hours of the night are a total blur, in fact it’s not even a blur, you just see black when you think back to what you may or may not have got up to after that 9th shot of Sambuca. The day after the night before is going to be long and it’s going to be painful. You’ll be too nervous to go on Facebook through fear of what photos may have been uploaded of you, or what you may or may not have posted on your ex-boyfriends wall (do we still call it a wall, maybe we’ll ask Donald Trump, he knows lots about walls).
But if there’s one thing that will raise spirits, will help you get through the Day From Hell, is the thought that some friendly man or woman will bring you a hot, steaming pizza to your door, which means you don’t have to leave your house until your head stops banging or your mouth no longer feels like a 100 year old rug or until the feeling of overwhelming shame has finally left the building.
Pizza will make that hangover disappear. Unless you’re throwing up. Then you just need to sip water as and when you feel you can and feel sorry for yourself whilst reminding yourself that you’ll never drink alcohol again.
Always factor pizza into your hangover.
8.I’m never left feeling unsatisfied
Pizza fills a hole. Often the act of eating pizza goes far too quickly but I’m always left feeling full and happy after. And that my friends is a great feeling.
7.No washing up involved
No cutlery is needed. No plate (unless you’re posh, which I most certainly am not). I can just eat and go straight to bed. Amazing.
The easiness of it.
6.It never lets you down
Had a shit day at work? Order a pizza. Been dumped? Order a pizza. Got a cold? Order a pizza. Had a row with someone? Order a pizza. Any issue you’ve got can temporarily be remedied by a pizza. Yeah OK, so things will be back to being shit once you’ve closed that empty pizza box but just for those 15 minutes you’re eating said pizza, you’ll be in a state of utter euphoria.
5.It’s universally recognised
I have eaten pizza all over the world. Well, I say world, all over Europe because the furthest I’ve ever been is Cyprus. Everyone serves pizza. Everyone understands the word pizza. You will NEVER go hungry.
4.It brings people together
Because everyone loves pizza (if you don’t then why are you still reading this?) you’ll always find a common ground with someone. If you’ve just met someone and you’re struggling to find a way to strike up a conversation just ask them how they have their pizza. You might end up disagreeing with them, but hey, no more awkward silences!
3.It stops arguments
What shall we have for tea?
I don’t know, what do you reckon we should have for tea?
How about salmon and something?
Nah that’s boring.
Well you fucking suggest something then.
I always suggest something, why are you being such a prick about it?
I’m not being a prick, you’re being a prick.
How about pizza?
2.Nothing, I repeat NOTHING beats that feeling of seeing the delivery driver walk up your drive. Not even looking at your first born child for the first time (OK, I exaggerate slightly)
Honestly, I do a little pizza dance everytime I see the hero walk out of his car, go to the backseat of said car and pull out his bag of goodies.
Hero’s don’t always wear capes. They wear baseball caps and bring you pizza.
1.Come on now, do you really NEED 10 reasons? I had you at the first one.
J Lo knows.
As a footnote, can I just remind you that Valentines Day falls on a Tuesday this year, so if you buy into all of that shit, be aware this means it’s Two For Tuesday. I’ll leave it up to you to decide whether you eat both the pizzas to yourself.