I’m a cynical old trout.
I’ll always see the ulterior motive to even the most sincere of gestures. I can’t help it. I try and keep an open mind where possible, but that doesn’t always work, I’m afraid.
As I advance in age, my cynicism increases tenfold. So much so, I’ve become convinced the recent spate of “celebrity” pregnancy announcements are nothing short of a clever marketing move.
Allow me to explain.
Today, winner of Love Island 2016 (best TV series ever – don’t judge) Cara De La Hoyde announced her pregnancy with former partner and fellow Love Island winner Nathan Massey.
Congratulations Cara. Lovely news.
Now, I’m not for one second suggesting Cara got pregnant on purpose, I do not know the ins and out of her relationship, or indeed ex-relationship. Aside from what she decides the public should know via the paid for magazine and newspaper interviews she takes part in, I don’t have the faintest of ideas just how genuine her relationship was once the cameras stopped rolling. However, her new pregnancy is already proving rather lucrative. Cara took the decision to announce her pregnancy via OK Magazine and I’m sure a crisp cheque, featuring a few zeros will be winging its way to her over the next couple of days, likely to soften the blow of her shock discovery.
My already bubbling over cynicism is piqued slightly by the fact the new series of Love Island begins in the next couple of weeks. Out with the old and in with the new. Her fellow cast members Olivia Buckland and Alex Bowen announced their engagement earlier this year and are already ensuring their presence in the public eye remains by sharing every single part of their wedding planning with any magazine/TV programme that will have them.
If you don’t capitalise on it, then your Reality TV fame will have a relatively short shelf life.
Stars of The Only Way Is Essex, Made in Chelsea and Love Island do not have any discernible talent to speak of. If they want to ensure they remain in the spotlight and continue to reap the benefits of their oversharing and televised arguments then they need to stay interesting. They need to give the public and the media something to talk about.
Take Stephanie Davis and Jeremy McConnell for example.
Jeremy Kyle’s wet dream if ever I saw one (perish the thought). The two embarked on a fraught and incredibly well documented relationship at the start of 2016 when they were both stars of Celebrity Big Brother. Fast forward a few months and they have separated and Stephanie has announced her pregnancy. We, the viewers/readers were “treated” to endless public spats, Twitter fall outs, This Morning interviews and OK magazine spreads; where they were seemingly happy to indulge us in the intricacies of their complicated and quite frankly fucked up relationship.
Only they and their management will know how much money they’ve raked in over the last 16 months or so but I can imagine it will be a princely sum. Stephanie, once a Soap actress and would be singer has likely now lost all credibility and I would be surprised if any producer or writer would take a risk employing her. However, I can imagine her bank balance is looking the healthiest it has done in recent years, thanks to the column inches she has clocked up in abundance.
The Mother and Baby industry is a profitable one for sure.
For any celebrity with a decent social media following, they can look forward to clothing ranges, book deals, sponsorship, magazine columns, endless interviews throughout the pregnancy and even their own dedicated TV show, following them as they embark on parenthood.
You could argue that it’s the Reality TV stars just getting older and the inevitable is going to happen. They’ll meet someone, settle down and nature will take its course. It’s just interesting to me, each coupling that results in the arrival of a baby within the fickle “celebrity” world is either a relationship that hasn’t quite made the 1 year mark yet or is controversial because of one of or both of the couples pasts.
I can almost imagine the meetings that take place in PR’s offices.
Manager: Nothing much has come in of late. OK Magazine might take a snap of you if you turn up to the opening of a crisp packet in Leicester Square next Tuesday night or I could arrange a pap to follow you around Marbella next weekend. You’ll have to do a few cringy “I don’t know the pap is hiding behind a bush” type poses but you can do it, I’m sure.
Celeb: Well, I have just started seeing so and so who was on Beauty School Drop Out 11 years ago.
Manager: Interesting. Well if you look at Sam Faiers from TOWIE fame, she’s managed to land her own TV show. It’s a bit boring, in fact it’s absolute dog shit but her worth has shot up since popping a sprog out.
Celeb: Consider it done, I’ll be off the pill by the end of the week. *
And before you know it said Celeb is on the front page of OK magazine with “My shock pregnancy discovery”. 15 pages of said Celeb “cradling their baby bump” and opening up about how it was a total surprise to be in this situation but they’re excited for the future.
A whole new range of opportunities await.
*Of course, this conversation between PR Manager and celeb is a product of my very overactive imagination.