2018 has been a challenge. In more ways than one.
In March I regaled you with my tale of abstention. Monthly abstention.
At the beginning of each month, the first of every month to be precise, I set myself a challenge. I am to abstain from one of my favourite foods (or drinks, drink can be involved too!) for one whole calendar month.
January was alcohol. Piece of piss. Literally.
February was full fat milk. Or blue top as I call it. Not too bad that one, it went quite well.
March was biscuits. More on that later.
And April? April is crisps. Wonderful salty, crispy crisps.
It’s funny. It isn’t until you give something up does your hankering for it intensify. Crisps aren’t something I give a lot of thought to. Until 1st April rolled round. I can’t get the bastards off my mind!
Biscuits were the same. I daren’t peek inside my Mother’s cupboards because I knew what would welcome me. Drawing me in. Begging me to open them up and pop one after the other into my gluttonous gob.
But the thing is with me, for all my faults. For all my self-loathing. When I put my mind to something, I can achieve. The thought of letting myself down is too much to bear (more on that another time) so failing at a task is not an option. No matter how delicious those Choco Leibniz biscuits look.
I would, however, love to sit here and tell you that I’ve lost a shit load of weight. But that would be a lie. Because whilst I manage to abstain from one thing, I’m replacing it with something else. And it ain’t salad.
Crisps are replaced with nuts. Dry roasted ones.
Biscuits were replaced with rice cakes. Chocolate covered ones.
You see where I’m going with this? I try people. Really I do.
But still, in all of this. I am enjoying the small challenge I’ve imposed on myself. It gives me focus which is important for me. It gives me a small sense of achievement – which is never a bad thing. It shows I can beat addiction. Because there are times I think I have a real addiction to the things I’m giving up for a month.
The thing is, I’ve made a bit of an error here. I’ve been quite calculated with my choices.
Choosing to give up alcohol in January wasn’t exactly a challenge, was it? No bastard goes out in January. Everyone is sick of the sight of alcohol, following the previous month’s over excesses.
Swapping full fat milk for semi-skimmed wasn’t much of a feat either. Because really, when I break it down, there isn’t *that* much of a difference between the two. Well, aside from the calorie count.
Biscuits were a bit more of a challenge. Mainly because of the amount of tea I drank during all those snow days. And everyone knows with tea goes biscuits.
I know the time will come when I have to say a temporary goodbye to the things I really enjoy in life.
At some point I’m going to have to pick a month to give up cheese.
Pizza will be another food I’ll have to bid adieu.
Just like I did in March 2017, I’ll have to go through another Dechox. I think I actually felt my blood run cold whilst writing that one.
Cake is another one. If I’ve given up biscuits then it only makes sense to give up cake at some point.
And then we have the white bread. I told myself the other day I’m addicted to toast and marmite. And I am. I know I am.
I’ve tried to get on-board with wholemeal but I can’t lie to you. It ain’t the same. And those people who say it’s nicer? They lie to you. And more importantly they lie to themselves.
I need to have a good look at my calendar and think about when is best to give the aforementioned items up for a month. It’s my Birthday next month. I’m going to be 21. No, really.
Do I give myself a month off and let myself eat what I want, when I want? Or do I up the ante and abstain from 2 things?
Let me know your thoughts.
In the meantime, there’s a packet of dry roasted peanuts with my name written all over them. Co-Op do the best ones if you’re interested.
Yes Co-Op, they’re loved by me an’ all.