“Why are you writing about the British Soap Awards? You only watch Emmerdale and Coronation Street”.
I also watch Hollyoaks too, actually. So, have some of that.
I love a good award ceremony, much to the despair of he indoors (he’s out tonight, at his own awards ceremony. Think Sports Personality of the Year – on a smaller scale. A much smaller scale) and my dear Mother. And, despite the fact I don’t watch every single soap opera on telly (I do have a life you know, promise), I’m still a self-confessed Continuing Drama fan (check me out, going all posh with the BAFTA references).
Did you know my very first e-mail address was firstname.lastname@example.org? Imagine having to explain that one to prospective employers. I often did wonder why I never got a call back.
Anyway, you know me. You know I rarely shy away from giving my opinion. Thus, it stands to reason I should have one when it comes to the winners and losers of all things Soap.
Below are my winners of each category. And the actual winners.
Spare a thought for Doctors. I swear they just turn up for the piss up.
(I’ve since been informed they actually won an award back in 2009. There must’ve been a baby boom that year as I can only surmise that new Mothers on maternity leave voted in their droves. Sorry for overlooking you, Doctors).
VILLAIN OF THE YEAR
- Connor McIntyre – Pat Phelan for Coronation Street
- Ryan Prescott – Liam Slade for Doctors
- Jake Wood – Max Branning for Eastenders
- Gillian Kearney – Emma Barton for Emmerdale
- David Easter – Mac Nightingale for Hollyoaks
This wasn’t even difficult for me. It had to be Connor McIntyre’s portrayal of Pat Phelan. Ages ago on Twitter, I boldly declared him to be (in my humble opinion, of course) the best soap villain we’ve ever had. In any soap. And following the week us Corrie fans have just been treated to, I stand by that statement more than ever.
Connor is an incredible actor.
For me, Phelan had it all. He was funny. In a way a psychopath shouldn’t be. He had depth. He left me wondering whether there was something that resembled a heart inside his body, as opposed to the swinging brick we were often led to believe lay there instead. But then he went and put a bullet in Luke’s head so that put paid to that trail of thought.
I, for one, shall miss Pat Phelan. I don’t think we’ll ever have a better soap villain.
Connor McIntyre – Pat Phelan for Coronation Street
There was never any doubt surely? I’d have stuck my house on it (were I pissed and acting all Billy Big Bollocks).
BEST MALE DRAMATIC PERFORMANCE
- Connor McIntyre – Pat Phelan for Coronation Street
- Chris Walker – Rob Hollins for Doctors
- Jake Wood – Max Branning for Eastenders
- Jeff Hordley – Cain Dingle for Emmerdale
- Ross Adams – Scott Drinkwell for Hollyoaks
Jeff Hordley – Cain Dingle for Emmerdale
God, I love that man.
Ross Adams – Scott Drinkwell for Hollyoaks
This was a really, really well done story line so Ross deserves to win this for Hollyoaks. Scott, whilst battling mental illness, delivered a 14 minute impassioned, heartfelt and heartbreaking monologue. It was a stunning piece of television. So, congrats has to go to Ross for this.
BEST FEMALE DRAMATIC PERFORMANCE
- Lucy Fallon – Bethany Platt for Coronation Street
- Laura Rollins – Ayesha Lee for Doctors
- Lacey Turner – Stacey Fowler for Eastenders
- Natalie J Robb – Moira Dingle for Emmerdale
- Nadine Mulkerrin – Cleo McQueen for Hollyoaks
I’m not a huge lover of Moira Dingle. She gets on my tits a bit. I was disappointed when Cain and she reunited as I was a fan of his and the vicar’s relationship.
I think one of the stand out actresses in soapland this year has been Lucy Fallon. Her portryal of the grooming storyline was powerful to say the least. I felt like I was there with her during many of the dark scenes. She’s one to watch for the future, thus I have to award this accolade to her. She deserves it.
Lucy Fallon – Bethany Platt for Coronation Street.
Made up for her. She looked bloody stunning as well.
BEST COMEDY PERFORMANCE
- Louiza Patikas – Moira Pollock for Coronation Street
- Ian Midlane – Dr Al Haskey for Doctors
- Nitin Ganatra – Masood Ahmed for Eastenders
- Sally Dexter – Faith Dingle for Emmerdale
- Nicole Barber – Lane – Myra McQueen for Hollyoaks
Where’s Steve McDonald?
Where’s Mary from Corrie?
Piss poor selection here, I’m afraid.
I have to choose one though don’t I, so I’ll say Faith Dingle in Emmerdale. I can’t say she’s ever made me LOL but I like her in Emmerdale so I guess that’ll have to do.
Ian Midlane – Dr Al Haskey for Doctors
BEST YOUNG ACTOR
- Matilda Freeman – Summer Spellman for Coronation Street
- Maisie Smith – Tiffany Butcher for Eastenders
- Isobel Steele – Liv Flaherty for Emmerdale
- Ela – May Demirican – Leah Barnes for Hollyoaks
Isobel Steele is going places. Mark my words. That girl can act beyond her years and her scenes with her on screen brother Aaron Dingle are something really special. She has been beyond brilliant in Emmerdale over the last few months and I think she has a brilliant career ahead of her.
Isobel Steele – Liv Flaherty for Emmerdale
Brilliant. Right decision.
SCENE OF THE YEAR
- The Grooming of Bethany Platt for Coronation Street
- Bollywood Proposal for Doctors
- Lauren & Abi’s Rooftop Fall for Eastenders
- Emma Meets Her Fate for Emmerdale
- Scott’s Suicide Note for Hollyoaks
The Grooming of Bethany Platt for Coronation Street
Yes, this was dark. In fact, I found this storyline harder to watch than the Pat Phelan stuff. It was really uncomfortable at times. However, it’s such an important story to tell. And, for me, it was portrayed really, really well. Justice will always prevail with Coronation Street, they have a moral obligation almost, to ensure that the right thing always happens. So, I always knew Nathan would be punished but it was still a very difficult, and at times, emotional watch.
A tie, apparently. Has this ever happened before? Do I actually care?
One thing I will say, I know a bit about that Eastenders storyline and considering Max Branning lost his eldest child to that very same roof 8 years previous, I can’t believe Eastenders would put him and us through the same thing again – I MEAN WHAT ARE THE ACTUAL CHANCES?!! Makes no sense to me.
And Doctors? Well, I’m having to eat my words aren’t I (not really).
BEST ON-SCREEN PARTNERSHIP
- Bhavna Limbachia and Fay Brookes – Rana Nazir and Kate Connor for Coronation Street
- Matthew Chambers and Elisabeth Dermot Walsh – Dr Daniel Granger and Dr Zara Carmichael for Doctors
- Lacey Turner and Jake Wood – Stacey Fowler and Max Branning for Eastenders
- Ned Porteous and Andrew Scarborough – Joe Tate and Graham Foster for Emmerdale
- Malique Thompson – Dwyer and Theo Graham – Prince McQueen and Hunter McQueen for Hollyoaks
I’ve been on a real emotional rollercoaster with Joe Tate in Emmerdale. One day I hate him. Like proper despise him. The next day I fancy the pants off him and I’m on the periphery of making a voodoo doll of Debbie Dingle. The lucky bitch. I’m also a huge Graham fan, I love how he plays Joe’s moral conscience. Their on-screen chemistry is superb. Thus, for me, it has to go to Emmerdale.
Malique Thompson – Dwyer and Theo Graham – Prince McQueen and Hunter McQueen for Hollyoaks
I’m actually quite chuffed for this pair. They’re really talented boys and I especially think Theo Graham who plays Hunter is very talented. Watching him deal with losing the love of his life; Neeta was a realistic and emotional performance. Great actor.
- Nicola Thorp – Nicola Rubenstein for Coronation Street
- Reis Bruce – Austin Lonsdale for Doctors
- Lorraine Stanley – Karen Taylor for Eastenders
- Andrew Scarborough – Graham Foster for Emmerdale
- Lauren McQueen – Lily McQueen for Hollyoaks
Graham Foster for Emmerdale.
He’s brooding. He’s mysterious. And, if I’m being totally honest with both you and myself, I’ve got a bit of a crush on him. He captivates me and I want to know more about him.
Lorraine Stanley – Karen Taylor for Eastenders.
Don’t watch it. Not arsed.
- Phelan’s Reign of Terror for Coronation Street
- Consequences for Doctors
- Karma for Max for Eastenders
- Who Killed Emma? for Emmerdale
- Lily’s Self Harm for Hollyoaks
Phelan. ALL. DAY. LONG.
I have argued with so many people about this storyline. I have defended Coronation Street to the hilt over the last year or so. What they did with this storyline was bold and it was brave. They deserve this award. If you’re a fan of soap, in fact if you’re a fan of television, then you wouldn’t have been able to escape the constant topic of Pat Phelan since last year, so that shows you the effect the story line has had on people.
Lily’s Self Harm for Hollyoaks
I don’t mind Hollyoaks winning for this. It was an important issue to tackle.
BEST SINGLE STORYLINE
- Eva and Aidan’s Wedding Debacle for Coronation Street
- Stop All The Clocks for Doctors
- Max’s Last Stand for Eastenders
- Cain and Faith Flashback for Emmerdale
- Three Mothers, Three Daughters for Hollyoaks
Poor choices here, I’m afraid. I’d be interested to know the time-frame they consider when it comes to long-listing. However, I’m going to give this one to Emmerdale. I remember watching that episode and as far as I’m concerned Jeff Hordley (Cain Dingle) can do no wrong in my eyes. He’s been my “shouldn’t but would” for years and years and I still have some of my best dreams about him.
Yes, he’s talented too. No, I’m not always this shallow.
Three Mothers, Three Daughters for Hollyoaks
I’ll concede. This was a good episode. But it was far from Hollyoaks’ best. Far from it. He indoors (Hollyoaks’ biggest fan) will be shocked to his inner core when I inform him of this revelation in the morning.
Yes he’s 34. And what of it?
I’d give it to Gail Platt (Helen Worth). Purely because the poor cow has known more tragedy in her life than I’ve known fake tan applications.
Rudolph Walker – Patrick Trueman for Eastenders.
I’m just buzzing I can bring this meme out. I can’t not look at this without pissing my pants.
- Michael Parr – Ross Barton for Emmerdale
- Ryan Hawley – Robert Sugden for Emmerdale
- Jack P Shepherd – David Platt for Coronation Street
- Conor McIntyre – Pat Phelan for Coronation Street
- Theo Graham – Prince McQueen for Hollyoaks
Another difficult choice for me. Michael Parr is a simply stunning actor and I’m beyond gutted he’s leaving Emmerdale.
I’ve spent many years loving to hate Robert Sugden and then hating that I love him that I nearly went with Ryan Hawley. But I can’t betray what my heart is telling me (Christ, I’m dramatic – gis a job innit eh Corrie?).
In fact, any one of these nominees could win this. And any one of them would deserve it. They’re all experts of their craft.
Jack P Shepherd is the best actor in this country at the moment.
Yes I am sober as I write this. And no I haven’t taken anything.
You think I’m wrong? Watch the way he’s depicted the awful male rape storyline recently. Unbelievable. The bloke can do no wrong. He has more depths than an ocean. Incredibly talented individual and he’s someone I always looking forward to watching.
Jack P Shepherd – David Platt for Coronation Street
Brilliant. He so deserves this. Plus I was on Twitter threatening to ‘kick the fuck off’ if he didn’t win. So, I now don’t have to hot foot it to Hackney to gob off at Philip Schofield.
- Richard Hillman Drives His Family Into Canal for Coronation Street (2003)
- Vivien’s Rape for Doctors (2008)
- ‘You Ain’t My Mother’ for Eastenders (2001)
- Hotten By-Pass Crash for Emmerdale (2016)
- Jade Says Goodbye To Alfie for Hollyoaks (2016)
I haven’t watched Eastenders since February 2013. I went to Amsterdam you see, came back and caught up on all my soaps that I’d missed apart from Eastdenders. That told me I no longer enjoyed it and that was that.
However, if you think any one of those aforementioned “iconic” moments deserve to win this award more than “YOU AINT MY MUVVA, YES I AM” then you can quite frankly get in the sea.
Hotten By-Pass Crash for Emmerdale (2016)
Oh fuck off.
- Lucy Fallon – Bethany Platt for Coronation Street
- Catherine Tyldesley – Eva Price for Coronation Street
- Lacey Turner – Stacey Fowler for EastEnders
- Emma Atkins – Charity Dingle for Emmerdale
- Anna Passey – Sienna Blake for Hollyoaks
Purely because of the Aidan storyline, I have to make Catherine Tyldesley my winner for Best Actress. When she was given the news that Aidan had killed himself, I had goosebumps. Full on goosebumps.
Her performance that week, having just given birth to their baby on the quiet, handed the baby over to Toyah, see Aidan the night before his death; where they danced together in a beautiful, beautiful scene and then be given the devastating news he’s dead the following morning. Well, I’ve never watched anything like it. It was beyond words for me.
Lucy Fallon – Bethany Platt for Coronation Street
She’s great. Really great. But not my winner in this category.
- Coronation Street
This was hard. This was really hard.
OK, so I don’t watch Eastenders. I swear Doctors just turn up to these awards for the free booze. And Hollyoaks, I have a love/hate affair with, despite the fact I rarely miss an episode.
So, for me, this comes down to Emmerdale and Coronation Street. And I love the bones of the pair of them.
Emmerdale do drama well. They tell a story beautifully. Emmerdale are so blessed with the talented actors they have on that show. A point proven by Emma Atkins’ performance just this week as the troubled Charity Dingle. I’m in awe of the things that woman can do. Quite simply, she can act her tits off.
HOWEVER. There has to be one winner. Only one soap can be awarded the best.
And I have to hand that accolade to Coronation Street. Perhaps were I not writing this off the back of Phelan’s downfall this week, things might be different but I’m not. I’ve been taken on such a rollercoaster over the last few days. A rollercoaster I’m still getting over.
And if there’s one thing that will stay with me for a long, long time it’s Shayne Ward’s portrayal of male suicide.
I didn’t think the tears would ever stop falling.
Of course it was.
PS. Unpopular opinion but Kate Oates is the best thing to happen to Corrie in years. Gutted she’s leaving.
I’M GOING TO BED NOW.
And there we have it. I don’t necessarily agree with the majority of the recipients of the awards tonight. But what do I know?
PS. Well done to Doctors. You know I’m only joking with the piss taking. I did watch a couple of episodes of it back in 2015 whilst I was in hospital and yeah; it was OK.
It ain’t no Casualty though.